Whether you've struggled for years to break into print or had the prize handed to you quickly and with little pain, becoming a published writer can be a shock to the system and leave you floundering in the turbulent waters of promotion. You'll make mistakes. You might even make enemies (some of whom will surprise you because you could have sworn they were friends). You'll survive, though, and when your second book comes out, you'll feel much calmer about the whole thing.

I offer here a modest bit of advice on avoiding some of the potholes you might hit on your journey. I haven't personally made all these mistakes, but believe me, I've made my share. I've steered clear of some only because I witnessed other people making them.

Remember that the world doesn't revolve around you and your book. Some people simply aren't interested, however difficult that may be to comprehend. And even those who care have their own lives and priorities. If someone politely asks how you've been, don't respond with a recitation of your Publishers Weekly review. Don't bore people to the point where they cross the street when they see you coming.

Hang onto your friends. Your unpublished writer friends are the same people they were before you signed your contract. If you valued them and their opinions then, don't allow that to change. Selling a book hasn't made you better than they are. It has simply, for the moment, made you a bit luckier, and luck can vanish in an instant. A good friend will never let you down. Friends who don't write will also appreciate a bit of modesty on your part--don't start acting like a celebrity just because you have a book in print.

Seek advice from those with experience. Join the Murder Must Advertise e-mail list on Yahoo and any other promotion-oriented e-group you can find. Listen to what experienced writers have to say about what has worked for them. Attend Sisters in Crime and Mystery Writers of America meetings if you have a chapter near you, and get to know other published members. Go to conferences. Start gathering information the day you sell your book, or even before. Find out where to have bookmarks printed, how to set up bookstore appearances, etc. Be prepared for what's coming and you won't end up feeling frantic and overwhelmed later on.

Expect snafus and disappointments and don't let them throw you. Whether it's an awful cover or a lost conference reservation, you will encounter some type of problem. Don't take it personally! These things happen to everybody sooner or later, and it's not the end of the world. Work on getting it fixed, but be courteous and don't make a pest of yourself or allow yourself to be abusive toward the people on the other end. If you get a conference panel assignment that you hate, be grateful you got one at all and make the best of it. If you think you have nothing to say on the topic, volunteer to moderate--then do such a great job that everyone will remember you with admiration.

Be careful what you say on your blog. If you're mad at your agent, editor, a bookseller, or a reviewer, do NOT post a scathing assessment of the other person on your blog! These are private professional concerns and should be dealt with privately. Negative reviews should simply be ignored. Nothing makes a writer look sillier than carrying on like a whining toddler because a reviewer didn't adore her book. You don't love every book you read, do you? Well, neither do reviewers. Complaining publicly about specific reviewers may alienate others, and your next book might be ignored. Shrug off negative reviews and move on.

Curb your enthusiasm. Believe it or not, some other writers will sneer if you show too much excitement over being published, getting good reviews, etc. Jump up and down and scream for joy in private. Around other writers, be calm and modest and don't brag. You never know who's watching--and waiting for a chance to label you unprofessional.

Be careful what you say about other writers. When you're unpublished, you may feel free to speak disparagingly about the work (or personalities) of other writers. Once you're published, everything you say will be remembered by somebody, and it could be repeated until you've made a lot of enemies with little effort. Getting published these days isn't easy. Anyone who manages it deserves respect. No writer cranks out bad writing in full awareness that it's bad. Most people write as well as they possibly can, and even if you hate a book, the author's efforts should be respected. Any writer who makes the bestseller lists is doing something right, and you'd be wiser to study that author's work and learn from it rather than dismissing it as unworthy of your time.

Behave yourself in public. Don't have a drink right before you go on a panel at a conference. Don't be loud and obnoxious. Above all, don't accost Really Famous Writers and expect them to instantly become your dear friends simply because you've published a book.

Make time to write. Being published is fun, no doubt about it. Having perfect strangers tell you they've read your book--even paid for the privilege!--and love it is a real kick. But don't get so swept up in promotion that you forget what your job is: writing. Always make time to immerse yourself in your next project.